Whims

gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life.

… it has not yet been revealed what we shall be … —1 John 3:2

Our natural inclination is to be so precise—trying always to forecast accurately what will happen next—that we look upon uncertainty as a bad thing. We think that we must reach some predetermined goal, but that is not the nature of the spiritual life. The nature of the spiritual life is that we are certain in our uncertainty. Consequently, we do not put down roots. Our common sense says, “Well, what if I were in that circumstance?” We cannot presume to see ourselves in any circumstance in which we have never been.

Certainty is the mark of the commonsense life—gracious uncertainty is the mark of the spiritual life. To be certain of God means that we are uncertain in all our ways, not knowing what tomorrow may bring. This is generally expressed with a sigh of sadness, but it should be an expression of breathless expectation. We are uncertain of the next step, but we are certain of God. As soon as we abandon ourselves to God and do the task He has placed closest to us, He begins to fill our lives with surprises. When we become simply a promoter or a defender of a particular belief, something within us dies. That is not believing God—it is only believing our belief about Him. Jesus said, “… unless you … become as little children …” (Matthew 18:3). The spiritual life is the life of a child. We are not uncertain of God, just uncertain of what He is going to do next. If our certainty is only in our beliefs, we develop a sense of self-righteousness, become overly critical, and are limited by the view that our beliefs are complete and settled. But when we have the right relationship with God, life is full of spontaneous, joyful uncertainty and expectancy. Jesus said, “… believe also in Me” (John 14:1), not, “Believe certain things about Me”. Leave everything to Him and it will be gloriously and graciously uncertain how He will come in—but you can be certain that He will come. Remain faithful to Him.

Oswald Chambers - My Upmost for His Highest

Waste Land

For those who haven’t already seen this 2010 film: watch this documentary. Its on netflix or itunes, or get your hands on it some other way. 

Why? How about the power of hope and hard work? That we should appreciate what we have in life? That we should be less materialistic and consider our waste? That even those with nothing can have a 300x better attitude than pretty much all Americans? The power of art and social justice? The list goes on and on.

The story of New York based, Brazilian born, artist: Vik Muniz, and his contribution to helping “pickers” in the world’s largest landfill.

Humbling.

An image from the film. Garbage arranged and photographed from above. 

Budgeting

I’ve always liked thinking that I just have this great faith that the Lord will always provide for me and my needs [and wants, and clothes, and eating out, and travel expenses, and alcohol, and crafting]; and therefore I have never been the most diligent with my finances. Basically this means I avoided looking at my checking account and crossed my fingers that it would all work out. 

Thanks be to God, it usually did.

However this means I have to often creatively use my credit card, and dip from my savings account… no beuno.

Therefore, as I am nearing “grown-up life”, I am trying something new. I created a budget. You know, the old fashioned way, on excel. Of course I made it color coded in pretty shades, just to make this finance thing a little easier to swallow. I thought it was a good idea, especially since I have big plans for my last month of college, including a camping trip, a trip to chicago, lots of parting gifts to make for my friends, and the inevitable “last night out”.

May the force be with me.